Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Life as we know it


              
     For you lovelies who have continued to read over the years bless your hearts.  My beloved blog hasn’t gotten the attention it deserves in the past year really because toddlers + life man.  I’ve been meaning to post an update for quite some time and just didn’t know where to start but here we are.  Although we nearly landed as a family on U.S. soil nearly 9 months ago, better late than never right?  We owe it to so many of you who have supported us the past 6 + years and I honestly am always so encouraged and reminded of God’s hand in all of the details of our journey that in a way this has and will be a journal of our adoption journey. 

     Let me start off by saying this is most definitely and I imagine the best & hardest thing we have ever and will ever do, bardest is a word right ;)?  We thought the wait was hard, and don’t get me wrong, it was, but now we are in the realms of the day to day life and practicals of it all.  When the going gets tough, sometimes all I need to do is step back and remember our journey and I am in utter awe and amazement once again.  Almost exactly a year ago the Department of State put out the announcement of immediate suspension of all Ethiopian inter-country adoptions indefinitely.  We had no idea when or even if we would become a family and here we are with two napping babes as I type this.  As Luke puts it, our lives and our home is fuller than it has ever been.  So full of joy, laughter, mess, chaos, exhaustion, brokenness and elation.  We laugh because in some ways we are so “busy” and occupied now but the fact is we aren’t busy at all, ha.

 I would say we went into it a little naïvely but in a lot of ways that may be not such a bad thing that we were innocently guarded from all that lay ahead.  We spent years connecting with other adoptive families, attending conferences and reading books and praying over every detail, but I honestly don’t think anything can fully prepare you.  Like a lot of parents, or it may even be safe to say all parents, it took stepping into the role to allow us to see how selfish and “free” our life was before kids.  In a lot of ways ours was definitely magnified due to the fact that we were married almost 8 years before our babes came into our lives physically and that suddenly we were parents to two, two toddlers from hard places at that.  I tell people in a lot of ways it seems even harder than twins because they are at different developmental levels so trying to teach them/catch up on language and common things is a bit challenging.  I literally bow down to you homeschool mamas out there. 

I have mentioned cocooning in past blogs but basically it is a technique adoptive families use to re-wire certain areas of the brain and to meet all needs for attachment purposes whether that’s food, bathing, changing/potty and sleeping.  Needs were unmet so therefore we need to gain trust and meet every single need to gain trust and allow them to see that needs will always be met under our roof.  We are still very much the ones to do most of that but have eased up as we have seen positive attachment occur.  I wouldn’t trade it for the world and it is necessary and beneficial but to be authentic it has definitely been all-consuming and isolating as new parents.  Our people have been sensitive to our desires and although we have come a long way, it is a lifelong process of navigating. 

I would say for me as a stay-at-home mama my world has changed completely as it should.  I left my hygiene job suddenly and my day to day life is so different.  It has surprised me that the adjustment has been more of a gradual one but once again in lots of ways bless my little naïve heart.  Halle will start preschool next year 3 days a week but I know I’ll look back at this year with such gratitude of being their mama every hour of the day and watching them grow and change before my eyes.  Seeing Luke step into the role of being a dad is honestly exactly as expected:  incredible.  He is such a good daddy and cares, adores and stands up for his girls with his everything.  He has in my opinion gotten pretty darn good at doing hair, African American hair at that, is the biggest advocate for adoption and is the ultimate girl dad.
  Practically, the girls are adjusting well overall.  Their English comprehension and speaking is mind-blowing.  We knew it would come quickly but holy smokes.  As much as we would love to keep up the Amharic and try to speak some here and there it is a challenge.  We are dealing with a lot of discipline stuff that I won’t get into but honestly things we knew we would likely walk through.  Reading it in a book and then trying to live it out is slightly different.  I read an adoption related quote the other day that nine times of out ten the story behind the misbehavior won’t make you angry; it will break your heart.  As much as it is helpful for others to relate to our situations, their behaviors stem from the past and deeper issues a lot of times.  Pray for compassion and for parenting techniques.  Not only dealing with behavioral issues but also processing and navigating their stories and being a bi-racial family can feel extremely overwhelming.  Many seem to think or say “Well, that’s what you signed up for.”  And well yes, sign me up a million times over but that doesn’t mean that is isn’t hard.  Hard is okay and worthy when you aren’t doing it alone.  When you boil it down we now have two precious souls living among us that we are called to shepherd.  Precious, of course, but still sinners and sinners with troubled pasts being cared for by sinners ourselves. 

I’ve dealt with a lot of toddlers in my day but it is not lost on me that the Lord uses MY kids to sanctify me and bring out my sin and goodness I am thankful for it but it is hard stuff!  A verse that keeps coming back to me is a well-known one in Psalm 139.  “Search me, O God, and know my heart!  Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”  My heart and my thoughts wander and are quick to anger I’m recognizing more than ever but then again isn’t that what sanctification is all about?  The gospel is our foundation for parenting, it has to be, and I don’t know where I’d be without it.  I extend a lot of grace but to be honest these little ladies are grace extenders right back to their mama who has messed up for the hundredth time in a day.  Lately, when Halle gets in trouble she will ask or affirm that we still love her.  My God child, you could blow up this house and my love for you wouldn’t change, it’s unconditional but how much more perfect and flawless is your Creator’s love and adoration for you.

“Are they “real”sisters?””  “Are they twins?”  I bet you I get asked these questions a dozen times in a day, no joke.  I think at first it was shocking that this was the first thing people “needed” to know but at this point we are beginning to navigate, re-direct and educate others.  To be honest, as I was sitting watching them play the other day and listening to their giggles (which is a rarity :) ) I thought to myself about how it is hard to imagine a time when they were not sisters.  Halle will look at Lucy several times a day and comment at how cute she is.  Lucy is Halles’ biggest admirer and looks at her like a child looks at their older sibling.  Their sisterhood may be one of the sweetest things of this whole gig.  There is no Halle without Lulu and no Lucy without Halle.  We laugh because shortly after marriage we said we would love to adopt, have a biological child or two, Lord willing, and adopt again.  Clearly we need to let the Lord write our story and not ourselves.
 
 
       We recently took them to the Ethiopian restaurant we visited frequently before bringing them home.  The staff treated them like family and snagged them from us the second we stepped into the restaurant.  They ended up in the kitchen with all the staff.  We left so full of injera (Ethiopian bread) and love for their culture and as they grow up I can’t wait to intertwine culture and tradition.  


We still have several friends still trying to bring their kiddos home as the country ultimately closed all international adoptions.  Within the past several months the prime minister left and a new one just took the position a few weeks ago.  So far it sounds like everyone is hopeful for Prime Minister Abiye Ahmed and that there has already been some progress in areas of civil unrest.  No one seems to know what orphan care and adoption will look like in the future.  Would you join us in praying for long term solutions, for those with power to make decisions for orphans, for those caring for orphans and for those fighting to bring their kiddos home? 
I’m coming to a close and realizing how scattered I’ve been but trying to put my current season into words isn’t easy.  I think back to our first few months and how I felt so overwhelmed and consumed that I didn’t think it would ever end.  I didn’t think I’d ever be able to take them to a park or really anywhere by myself.  Take heart if you’re in a long and trying season.   The word season adds temporarity.  It is but a brief portion of your life and God is the author of everything, even your circumstances.  And yes, I’m talking to myself too.  We clearly love adoption and although it’s wrecked us in the worst and best ways ever, being Halle Grace and Lucy Joy’s mama is my proudest title. 

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

And then there were four


I'm going to try my best attempt to put into words what our past week, or really 4 years, has looked like. If you've been following our journey at all you know we have pursued adoption in Ethiopia for the past 4 + years. We can now say with our everything that of course it was worthy of our tears and the trying wait and that we would wait another 10 years if we had to for these babes, but it is the hardest journey we have every traveled. We were most recently matched this past September with two precious girlies. In April we received news that the ministry of women's affairs, which is a prominent organization in processing adoptions, had suspended their processing indefinitely. If you've followed along you know the outcome. After a few months of no positive letters, tears cried & prayers for miracles they started moving again. 

We were hopeful we may have our family  together & home in 2017. On the Fourth of July we were celebrating with some family & got a call from our case worker that we had a court date on July 11th and would need to be in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia in 2 days. We were in shock. We shared our news with our people, talked to our jobs (Jen had to quit immediately) & prepared for the trip of a lifetime. Talk about a whirlwind. Not surprisingly, our people rallied, we booked one-way flights, shopped for clothes, a whole pharmacy of meds, snacks, food, diapers, toys, etc, did what we could to prepare for homecoming and left for about 36 hours of travel ahead of us. As soon as we landed our agency met us at the airport. We were exhausted after 4 chaotic days with little to no rest. We went to the hotel for a quick macchiato (and yes, the coffee is just that good in the country where it originated) and we headed straight to the orphanage about 2 hours away to meet our DAUGHTERS! 

We had low expectations for the first meeting and interactions with them. As much as we adored and loved these two unconditionally already they didn't know us from Adam, we look way different than their current caregivers, don't speak their language & are simply strangers. I can't say there weren't tears at first but the days following they became more and more open to us comforting, feeding, holding and playing with them. 

We have visited them for 3 days and today was our court date. We are now officially their legal guardians on the Ethiopian side and will go get them tomorrow and bring them back to our hotel in Addis. After that there are several more steps including a court decree, vitals, medical appointments, passports, visas and birth certificates. Pray those all process quickly, smoothly and that their paperwork processes together. Pray also for our next couple weeks as a family of four in the hotel. We will be spending a lot of time in the hotel due to the fact that in Ethiopia it is disrespectful for adoptive families to be in public. I foresee a lot of elevator rides, car rides & family cuddle sessions & can't think of anything better. We have, for the past several years, tried to educate ourselves and those in or little circle as much as possible and can now truly see how important these next months ahead are for attachment. To sum it up, as great as these nannies are they just can't meet all the needs of these kiddos and they aren't receiving the parental love every single child deserves and needs. We need to re-wire parts of their brain in areas of connection and allow them to grieve losses they are experiencing. We have to be the ones meeting every need of theirs (feeding, bathing, changing, etc.) which will be difficult but necessary for them to trust us as mom and dad. Everything is new as they have never left the orphanage gates. It's hard to fathom how overwhelming and frightening that must be. We have a long road of healing ahead of us. Pray for us as their mom and dad as we officially take on the title parents. Pray we are quick to meet needs and know what they are despite language barriers. Jen's mom who is a flight attendant will be coming over towards the end of our trip to help the four of us get home.  Pray for her travels and can witness firsthand and help practically.

As real as it is, I still wake up in the mornings in the hotel pinching myself. Being in Ethiopia is unreal. It is a country extremely rich in culture, beauty and poverty. I think it will take time to process and understand all that our eyes have seen. The driving took some time to get used to between the crazy drivers and livestock on the road. The people of this country are truly kind and very affectionate. The landscapes are absolutely beautiful between the mountains, valleys, rivers and trees. It is winter here now and rainy season has started. Us Texans couldn't have had better travel time then when it's 100+ degrees at home but the locals are all bundled up for winter. 

It is not without mention of sweet Sally and Sadie (our first referral that we lost). Upon landing and driving around Addis where they live I carry them with me so heavily on my mind and in my heart. I've wondered what we would do if we happened to get a glimpse of them with Birkutan in the seas of people that flood the city. They will always and forever be a special part of the Schwoch clan. Pray for wisdom and guidance and for the Lord's timing in someday sharing our entire story with Halle and Lucy. 

We feel like we are on the last lap of our marathon adoption and praise God for that but know parenting won't be without struggles and difficulties. We want to thank you all from the bottom of our hearts for reading, lifting the four of us up in prayer and for your continued support. For practical ways to help and more specific information and prayers contact sis, Gretchen Watson, Gretchenjwatson@gmail.com
All our love,
Luke & Jen

Meet Halle & Lucy Schwoch




Wednesday, November 16, 2016

9.21.16

"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful" Hebrews 10:23

It's now been over a year since we saw two beaming grins that we thought we would call Schwochs.  A year of loss, grieving, hope and trust.  We knew a referral would be coming soon, our case worker had been giving us play by plays as much as she could from not being on the ground in Ethiopia.

I woke up on a Wednesday morning to prepare for a day long continuing education course and Luke woke up earlier than normal to drop our sweet pup off at his parents for a stay.  We woke with excitement that day with a trip to Seattle and Portland just a workday away.  Summer didn't really include travel as we thought we would be traveling to Ethiopia so our little getaway was something we had been looking forward to.  Little did we know we would also be getting an email from our case worker letting us know to call her ASAP. 

September 21, 2016.  The day we were matched with two little ladies!  It was hard to imagine bringing one child home now that we had begun preparing for two, but we were open to what the Lord had for us and knew the chances of two were slim to none.  Sally & Sadie opened the door for two and we are overwhelmed and joyful to have accepted a new referral within the last couple of months.  Our little getaway turned into a true "babymoon" and we spent it in awe of God's faithfulness.  He walked with us every step up the way and carried us when we didn't think we could take another step.  "But I will sing of Your strength; I will sing aloud of Your steadfast love in the morning.  For You have been to me a fortress and a refuge in the day of my distress.  O, my strength, I will sing praises to You, for You, O God, are my fortress, the God who shows me steadfast love." Psalm 59:16-17
We had the opportunity to once again share in our good news with those who have been there every step of the way.
Of course we are ecstatic but naturally hesitant and guarded.  Pray for:
  • a trust without borders
  • pray for Ethiopia as a whole which has been under a state of emergency for about a month due to anti-government protests that will last for 6 months total which you can read more about here: 
  • pray for the girls physical bodies that they remain healthy and grow to the best of their ability considering their current state
  • pray for all of those caring for them for the time being
  • pray for all of those that will be involved in our case that they work with urgency and have the girls and our best interest at heart 
  • pray for our hearts that we continue to be faithful and trusting in our waiting.  At this point we are almost all waited out!
  • pray for girls that they prepare to become Schwochs, and that even now they know how loved and adored they are by their creator and us
  • finally pray for Sally, Sadie & their mama Birkutan who will forever be in our hearts and our prayers
November is national adoption month.  When we made the choice over four years ago to initially grow our family through adoption and step into its realms we had no idea what this journey would look like.  We knew it would be long and we knew it would be hard, but honestly not this long or this hard.  The longer I walk with Christ the more I am in awe of how our spiritual adoption is knitted into the gospel.  "He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself according to the purpose of His will "Ephesians 1:5 Our call to advocate for the fatherless has been a compilation of beauty, pain, joy, loss and redemption and we know He is nowhere close to done with it.  We are still walking through the fire and we know once home our journey has really just begun but are celebrating each step of the way.  Thanks for all of you who have loved us, walked with us and prayed for us on our rollercoaster of a journey, especially when it got hard and those who will continue to. 

All our love,
Luke & Jen Schwoch

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Words and thoughts on a page, a way overdue adoption update



“And these are but the outer fringe of his works; how faint the whisper we hear of him!  Who then can understand the thunder of his power?”  Job 26:14

It’s been a little over six months since we got that heart-shattering phone call that those sweet Schwoch sisters weren’t in fact ours and that they were returning to their birth mama, whom I’ll refer to as Mama B.  In some ways the time has drug on and in other ways I wonder how six months has come and gone.  Every day has been welcomed with a little bit less of a sting and we discuss the future hopefully and joyfully.  Don’t get me wrong, we without a doubt miss those babies like crazy.  Little things still put me over the edge whether it be a song that we have carried with us along our journey, a memento, or a picture of their beaming grins.  I truly believe each and every day has been a gift from God as a day of a little less grieving and more dreaming all while getting little glimpses of His hand at work.  Last month was the youngest one’s second birthday.  It was one of those dates that six months ago I couldn’t wait for it to come.  I hoped with all my heart she would be home to celebrate and I had the sweetest little outfit for her to sport if that were the case.  But now, this date crept up and I knew it would sting.  We did our best to honor her and celebrate her here.  Now I hoped something different for this day:  that she was in Mama B’s arms & that she knows without a doubt how loved and celebrated each day of her life is.  Big sister’s fourth birthday is approaching this month.  Would you be so kind as to pray for our hearts on another big day as well as for her and mama B?
Our first attempt at Ethiopian food to celebrate Sally Hana
Shoutout to Taste of Ethiopia for the injera!

This summer marks 3 years since we officially started the adoption process.  Bless our little naïve hearts with our home study babyproofing pics that we were so eager to share.  I look at how far (or lack thereof) we have come physically, how much loss we have experienced and how much dependency on each other and our God we have needed to make it through each day like the air that we breathe. 

This whole adoption journey we have been on up to this point has got me thinking that adoption, like pregnancy and childbirth, is a miracle in itself.  I have always been in awe of our Creator, in His design of life and creation through pregnancy and birth.  If you boil it down it really is mind-boggling and absolutely amazing.  The design and detail He puts into the existence of EVERY being from conception all the way until first breath sure is something.  In our current life season when friends are having babies left and right I am constantly reminded of it with all of your precious photos and apps that make it relatable to me, like how big your baby is in comparison to an eggplant.  My embryology courses in hygiene school went into such detail about what was forming when and how and that was just the oral cavity for crying out loud.  Our God is a great great God.  Back to my thought on miracles and adoption.  I think a lot of people think this is how international adoption works and some of that may be our fault for a lack of educating:  pick a country, sign some papers, wait, travel, travel home and everything is dandy.  Let me fill you in a little bit more of what an international adoption REALLY looks like…

The first step in the process for us was initially saying “yes” to adopt which is a miracle in itself.  Luke and I were on different timelines for that.  My eyes were opened to adoption years ago and 5 years back God softened Luke’s heart to adoption.  This journey is God-ordained in itself and you can read more about Luke’s precious heart here http://jenandlukeschwoch.blogspot.com/2013/10/i-love-adoption.html  .  So after we decided we were all in then it became where.  We were drawn internationally.  Due to our age and how long we had been married we didn’t qualify for more than a handful of countries.  Even before we had discussed details I think we both felt led to Ethiopia.  All of our signs and prayers pointed there.  So now the question became who.  We spent months researching agencies, Christian and non-Christian.  Unfortunately there are a lot of agencies out there now that aren’t playing by the rules ethically and are crossing red tape.  We interviewed dozens of agencies and finally found one that we felt comfortable with, trusted and passed all of our tests.  Next step, paperwork.  And when I say paperwork I mean paperwork.  Like pages and pages of it y’all.  They want to know our life story from sad memories of our childhood to where our siblings lived and worked to bank statements to what our marriage looked like.  Up next, home study.  That was a blog a while ago too which you can read here http://jenandlukeschwoch.blogspot.com/2013_12_01_archive.html .  Our story is a unique one in that we have been living in my grandmother’s house for 3 years and had to baby proof and prepare for a case worker to come in and see if our house was fit for a little.  I laugh because we were so worked up about this part and it was one of the smoothest steps in this process.  The next step was even more paperwork, like books worth, complied to send to Ethiopia to be translated called a dossier.  After that we waited, waited and waited some more. We have had to update our expiring home study, update our expiring dossier and update our fingerprints twice.  You all know what happens next.  Now currently guess what?  We are still waiting.  My prayer has always been that we would wait well and become such patient and trusting people.  If you would have asked us when we began this process where we thought we would be 3 years later I’m sure both of our responses would have been home with a little one.  But one thing I remain hopeful in is that this is the story God has chosen to write for us and He wrote it thousands of years ago.  He sees us and hears our cries.  3 years in, paperwork has expired multiple times, questions have been asked and tears have been shed.  The reason I write is because I want people who walk with us to see the beauty and the miracle I am starting to become in awe of.  If and when our Lord works it all out in His will and timing it will be miraculous. 

Shortly after our loss we both decided to delve into the book of Job because if anyone experienced loss and suffering who else but Job?  It’s one of those books where you’re familiar with its beginning and end but what about the in between?   What about when Job nearly loses all hope over the losses of his children, livestock, home and riches?  What about the attacks and acquisitions he receives on repeat  from his “friends” and wife?  Job by no means is perfect, he’s human, and the whole middle of the book is filled with his despair, frustration, and confusion.  Not to belittle our loss, but I am so thankful for this book.  When you read that all scripture is alive, breathing and applicable, it really is.  I may read something during a season and read it during another season and see something totally different.  We get a bird’s eye view of Job’s life and what God is orchestrating.  I think that perspective on looking down and back has helped me immensely to be at peace in our current state.

A couple years ago for our fifth anni Luke gave me this custom artwork.  It is hard to see in the photograph, but there is a tiny purple heart over Texas and a tiny purple heart over Ethiopia.  If someone asked me how I was feeling or doing I could point to it and that would explain.  They weren’t lying when they said a picture says a thousand words were they?  So each day I wake up and that’s the first image I see.  Sadie, Sally and mama B have so much of my heart over there.  A baby that God is working miraculously into our story is there.  And we are here.  Oceans a part.
To wrap my thoughts up here is where we are:  waiting.  We are next in line at our agency for several orphanages throughout Ethiopia.  August 5th, 2016 has come and gone and it is a day that has a sting for us and other families that are adopting from Ethiopia.  Courts close on that day for the annual rainy season.  I’ve described this before but basically when it rains it pours and a country like this isn’t equipped.  The rain is beyond necessary especially after the biggest drought ever struck the country this year.  The rain is needed for crops, sustenance, for life.  Luke spoke with our case worker last week and she let us know that some years during rainy season they have seen referrals and other years none at all.  Would you all continue to pray for peace, comfort and God’s spirit to be thick during this season?  Would you pray we continue to trust in His good and perfect plan and that we allow Him to continue to work things out for our good and His glory? 


“We can be certain that God will give us the strength and resources we need to live through any situation in life that He ordains.  The will of God will never take us where the grace of God cannot sustain us."  Billy Graham

All of our love,
Jen & Luke Schwoch

Sunday, January 31, 2016

The unexpected call

January 28, 2016 we got the call that no adoptive parents want to receive in the midst of waiting to get their child/children home.  “Your daughters’ birth mom wants to take them back.”  My heart sank, broke & shattered into a million pieces all over the ground.  Our daughters that we laid eyes on over three months ago & stare at on our phones, refrigerator & frames throughout the house.  The girls we have been preparing a room for, praying over & souls I daydreamed of adventuring through life together with on a daily, no take that back, hourly basis.  This is the kind of stuff you see on the news & read about but have to think “oh this will never happen to us.”  Our agency, in their decades of working in Ethiopia, have only seen this situation less than a handful of times.  

If you aren’t super familiar with adoption, or maybe even know something about family preservation you may think “oh that’s wonderful though, they should & need to be with their biological mama".  While we do believe in our heart of hearts that the original family is best, we are currently in a place of pain, loss & grieving.  They had already grown our family and our hearts & souls were completely invested in being their parents.  My eyes hurt from crying & the days are painfully long & almost seem purposeless, but I did have a vision on my way home from that dreadful call.  It was of our oldest, whom we had named Sally.  She was being reunited with her mama & I just saw this look on her face of pure delight at the sight of the woman whom gave birth to her, cared for her for 2.5 years before she entered the orphanage & came back for her.  I thank God for this little glimpse of reunification, especially since going forward we will know nothing of their case. 

None of it makes sense now, I’ve got holes in my heart that I thought would become full once we became a family that will always be void, but somehow post grieving, we must carry on & continue to be a voice & advocate for the orphan.  They never stepped foot into our home, or were held in our arms, but we already loved them with an unconditional, would do anything for you love.  So many of you already loved them as well & have been praying for them for years too.

Of course throughout the process & especially once we accepted a referral & were waiting for paperwork to be processed there was always a teeny tiny bit of fear in the back of our minds of the “what ifs”, but I think that comes with parenting at every stage no matter how they come into your home.  As much as I want to be angry with God for leading us on what seems like a path that is endless He is our only hope & is the author of life and everything in it. "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9  Pray we are obedient to let Him keep writing our story. In the depths of my soul, I can’t believe He would give us such a desire for the fatherless to have it end in a failed adoption and that be the end of our story.  Pray that we can grieve healthily & allow ourselves to process through such loss with each other, family, & community allowing ourselves to experience a range of emotions.  It will be a long road & there will not be a day that goes by that we won’t think of and pray for those sweet sisters & their souls the rest of our lives.  We have no doubt many of you will join us & I delight in knowing they are being covered in prayers.  Will you continue praying for these sweet girls and their souls and that He would grab their hearts and make them His? Will you also pray that their mama care for and parents them well and their physical health be good?

So much of our identity had become being Sally & Sadie’s parents, but first & foremost we were & are His children. As their parents so many of our hopes, plans and dreams for the future revolved around them which I think naturally happens as parents.  Pray He continues to remind us of who He says we are.

A verse that I kept referring back to during our 2.5 year journey is Psalm 112:7 which states “He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord." A precious friend who is also journeying through bringing a child home via adoption & I would always remind each other of this truth and she even had a bracelet made with this verse carved into it.  While this may be about the toughest news we could’ve received, pray that our hearts not harden but remain firm and trusting in the Lord all of our days.

To those of you who have brought dinners, came and prayed over us, sent packages, pictures, flowers, encouraging texts/verses, sat & just cried with us & were present, our hearts go out to you.  We continue to thank God for the village He brings us in every season.  Never once did we ever walk alone.  That being said, we know we have a long road of grieving & will be taking a little hiatus from social media.  As much as we love keeping up with your families, scrolling through cute pictures of your babies & celebrating what may seem like everyday life with you, we know it’s what’s best for our hearts in this season.  Feel free to email, text or call to keep up.  We love you and thank you for continuing to journey with us.

-Jen & Luke Schwoch

Lschwoch87@gmail.com

“In all my sorrows, Jesus is better, make my heart believe.”

Sunday, November 1, 2015

It takes a village

It has been 18 days since we have laid eyes on our daughters.  In these days I can speak for both of us in saying that not only did our hearts explode, but we have experienced a whole new type of love, one we have merely experienced glimpses of auntieing and uncleing nieces, nephews and friends kiddos.  I can not even fathom it and have spent a good while just staring at their pictures in adoration. 
 
I can't help but see so much of Christ in this parenting gig.  Not only does He love us as a daddy, but also with a perfect love we can search for all of our days on this earth and will never find.  Oh how He loves us!  And to think in the mere sense of the gospel that our almighty God gave His ONLY son to come below for me?!  Oh the mercy.  I am hopefully not going into this completely blind sighted.  There will be hard and painful days and I'm going to mess up a lot and I hope on those days I can point their eyes and their hearts up to the one perfect and true thing in this life. 
 
Okay, now for the fundraising update that was the whole point of my writings.  Sorry for the rambling, welcome to my mind as of late :).  You all have rallied, you have shared, you have given of your hard earned money and we are literally at a loss for words.  As I mentioned in our previous post, we had raised close to what was needed for a single adoption and to our surprise with our now Schwoch sisters the fees increased dramatically.  Our agency was gracious with us and gave us a week to come up with a majority of the fees while allowing us to pay the remaining by the end of November. In our helplessness He is our help; in our dependence He is the one who we can depend on.  Not only did the impossible happen, but far more than we could have fathomed. Through a garage sale, T-Shirt sales & selfless donations by the end of the week we had raised the exact amount of money needed for our first payment. God continues to teach us to trust in Him and His providence. A verse that has been a key verse in the vision of our church as a whole this past year is from Ephesians.  It states this "Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever.  Amen"  3:20-21  


 We can't wait until the day we can share with our girls all those who said "Yes, I'm in, lets get these girls home."  & "Yes, God is good praise Him" and were on your knees on their and our family's behalf. 
I wish we could literally go through and share each of your stories and how you have cared for our family, but for now I would love to share with you a few that stood out this past week...
-To the people over at Orangebloods.  This is an organization Luke has loved being a part of for the past 8 or so years.  As the name implies they in a hypothetical sense bleed burnt orange and love them some longhorns.  So many of you have donated and want to help a brother out, thank you!
-To the people over at #standforlifemovement.  This is a group who after the recent planned parenthood videos were released said "what can we do to bring light to the issue and be a platform for people to share their stories of choosing life in all sorts of circumstances?"  I am proud to call them friends and have been overwhelmed by those who stepped up and shared their stories, check them out.
-To our neighbors and specifically their 2 elementary-aged children.  Adoption is near and dear to them and shortly after celebrating our news with them received word that the kids had been waiting to donate their box from lent to a special cause and chose our adoption and have also started planning a trunk show and a bake sale.
-To all of you who wear your shirts proudly around this city, state and country and share its story
-To my Noonday sisters, specifically my pal Cherese and her hostess whom I've never even met, they hosted a show and decided to forgo the goodies to donate towards our adoption.
-To high school buddies, college friends, co-workers, our beloved families and those who have been there for literally every step of the way 
THANK YOU ALL!!!!
 
This new season of the waiting presents a longing and a yearning for our daughters.  There are lots of forms to sign and hoops to jump through and we have begun nesting in a sense.  In these sleepless nights and long days we hope and pray that while we may not be with them to care for them that first and foremost they are His.  If I could hire anyone to babysit I think their heavenly papa will fill those shoes quite nicely ;).


This is not just a pretty print.  If you have been following our journey for quite some time you know we take our monthly adoption selfie in the kitchen with this calendar.  To our surprise several months back we discovered this beautiful print.  Our desire and hope is that this phrase remain true in our hearts.  We can't wait to hang this print in the girls' room as a constant reminder once they are home. 
 

Sunday, October 18, 2015

The Call

Tuesday, October 13th 2015 I was going through what I thought was an average Tuesday.  Tuesdays I don't go into work until later so I was at the gym riding a bike.  I looked down and saw that our agency was calling.  They have only called once before, but when I see their name pop up on my phone my heart drops.  I frantically jumped off the bike to receive the call.  The social worker was calling and quickly followed with "I have some good news, we have a referral for your family.  (For those unfamiliar with international adoption this is when your family is matched with a child.  Oh. My. God.  The day that I had dreamed about for years was happening.  The guy in front of me on the elliptical scowled back at me (I guess I was being loud but I just became a mama for crying out loud man, give me a break!).  What followed next left me speechless...

"We have a referral for your family, it's a set of siblings, two girls ages one and three."  Y,all, I can't even handle this.  Let me back up a bit.  From the beginning we always discussed two and dreamed about how special siblings would be to journey through life together as best buddies.  We were approved for up to two children in our home study for siblings ages 0-3 however the likelihood of this situation was probably about one in a million.  Other than twins, sibling groups this young is a rarity so we always assumed a babe around one is what our referral would look like.  Luke has been saying for years now that two girls would be his dream.  God has, through His sovereignty, been up to something for 20 months that we can't even fathom although we know in our heart of hearts that these plans of His have been carved out since the beginning of time. 
 
"Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast heart, for his wondrous works to the children of men.  And let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving and tell of his deeds in songs of joy."  -Psalm 107:21-22
 

We have always said that no matter what we were doing when we received the joyous news we would meet up and open the email to see pictures and information about our child.  We both raced home and luckily I didn't have to leave a patient sitting in the dental chair mouth wide open but nothing was stopping this mama :).  We spent some time praying for the next few moments while their pictures were just a click away.  Seeing their precious smiling faces left us both crying tears of joy and at that moment we knew that those were our girls.  I can't stop staring, dreaming and thinking about those sweet hearts.
 
I have never had and felt so many emotions at once.  After gazing at them forever we began reading through their histories and what led them to the orphanage.  This led to tears of complete brokenness, sadness and such hurt and pain for our now babes.  They've experienced more pain and loss in their short lives than I have in my nearly 30 years.
 
We can NOT wait to bring them into our family and these last few days have been a whirlwind.  Sharing our news with friends and family of a day that not only us, but so many of our people have longed for and prayed for forever alongside of us, has been pure delight.  We've had so many tell us how lucky our girls will be to have us as mom and dad but we are the lucky ones.  God blew us away but giving us a referral but TWO?!  Oh what grace.
 
What's next
We received our referral on Tuesday and accepted it on Wednesday.  We now have quite bit of acceptance paperwork to fill out along with updating of our dossier. We have had several ask why the girls won't be coming home for several months but basically to sum it up there is a lot of paperwork and government approvals that need to be processed.  Investigations will occur and court hearings will commence. There are a lot of new processes that have been put in place to protect the orphan and ensure ethical adoptions. While it can be frustrating to continue to wait we have to respect the process. 
 
One area where we have been completely dependent on our Lord is fundraising.  He completely surpassed any doubts we ever had about how and if the funds would come.  We have had garage sales, sold shirts, collected donations and benefited from Noonday trunk shows.  It has been humbling and for lack of words promise-filled to see it all come to fruition through the blessings of His people.  We had raised nearly enough funds for our adoption and since the chances were near to none of a sibling group we obviously weren't going to raise funds for another child in the unlikely chance that we received more than one. While we don't have to pay double the costs for everything, we do have a good amount of additional money we need to raise and pay in the next 7 days. Once again we have put our trust in our Lord and know that he will provide. The short term costs we have to pay are such a small amount compared to the lifetime of joy we will experience with these two little babes.
 
Ways to help
  • Youcaring
We have had an account set up on youcaring for several years now.  If you have a desire to donate you will find information on the link below:
 
 
  • T-shirts
We are on our second batch of our beloved "Loved" tees.  We have a few small shirts left and a good amount of medium-XXL, email Jen.schwoch@gmail.com if you would like to purchase one
 
  • Pray
This one sounds so broad but our hope and desire is to continue to give praise and glory to a God who has done and will do far more than we could ever imagine. 
-pray in the next week of complete surrender in our fundraising that we put our faith fully in Him and trust a loving God and that he Has gone before us
-pray for our girls that they not only are physically well but that God reveal His great love and adoration to them and that He prepares them to become Schwochs
-pray that God would heal any emotional wounds that our girls may have
-pray for the precious orphanage workers that will be entrusted with caring for our children during the important and formative stages of their lives
-pray for some big decisions we have coming up with living and that we seek Him for clarity and wisdom.
-pray for our patience and strength to continue as we see God work in His perfect timing
-pray that God would see the creation of our family through with His steadfast love and that he would move mountains to unite our forever family
-pray for our adoption agency that they would continue to act ethically and act with the orphans' best interest in mind
-pray for the officials in U.S. and in Ethiopia who will handle our case and ask God to touch their hearts through God's love and purpose in adoption
 
It is such a delight to share our news.  If you would like to hear more about our adoption let us know. 
All our love.
-Jen & Luke Schwoch
Celebratory dinner, we are PARENTS!