It takes a village

It has been 18 days since we have laid eyes on our daughters.  In these days I can speak for both of us in saying that not only did our hearts explode, but we have experienced a whole new type of love, one we have merely experienced glimpses of auntieing and uncleing nieces, nephews and friends kiddos.  I can not even fathom it and have spent a good while just staring at their pictures in adoration. 
 
I can't help but see so much of Christ in this parenting gig.  Not only does He love us as a daddy, but also with a perfect love we can search for all of our days on this earth and will never find.  Oh how He loves us!  And to think in the mere sense of the gospel that our almighty God gave His ONLY son to come below for me?!  Oh the mercy.  I am hopefully not going into this completely blind sighted.  There will be hard and painful days and I'm going to mess up a lot and I hope on those days I can point their eyes and their hearts up to the one perfect and true thing in this life. 
 
Okay, now for the fundraising update that was the whole point of my writings.  Sorry for the rambling, welcome to my mind as of late :).  You all have rallied, you have shared, you have given of your hard earned money and we are literally at a loss for words.  As I mentioned in our previous post, we had raised close to what was needed for a single adoption and to our surprise with our now Schwoch sisters the fees increased dramatically.  Our agency was gracious with us and gave us a week to come up with a majority of the fees while allowing us to pay the remaining by the end of November. In our helplessness He is our help; in our dependence He is the one who we can depend on.  Not only did the impossible happen, but far more than we could have fathomed. Through a garage sale, T-Shirt sales & selfless donations by the end of the week we had raised the exact amount of money needed for our first payment. God continues to teach us to trust in Him and His providence. A verse that has been a key verse in the vision of our church as a whole this past year is from Ephesians.  It states this "Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever.  Amen"  3:20-21  

 We can't wait until the day we can share with our girls all those who said "Yes, I'm in, lets get these girls home."  & "Yes, God is good praise Him" and were on your knees on their and our family's behalf. 
I wish we could literally go through and share each of your stories and how you have cared for our family, but for now I would love to share with you a few that stood out this past week...
-To the people over at Orangebloods.  This is an organization Luke has loved being a part of for the past 8 or so years.  As the name implies they in a hypothetical sense bleed burnt orange and love them some longhorns.  So many of you have donated and want to help a brother out, thank you!
-To the people over at #standforlifemovement.  This is a group who after the recent planned parenthood videos were released said "what can we do to bring light to the issue and be a platform for people to share their stories of choosing life in all sorts of circumstances?"  I am proud to call them friends and have been overwhelmed by those who stepped up and shared their stories, check them out.
-To our neighbors and specifically their 2 elementary-aged children.  Adoption is near and dear to them and shortly after celebrating our news with them received word that the kids had been waiting to donate their box from lent to a special cause and chose our adoption and have also started planning a trunk show and a bake sale.
-To all of you who wear your shirts proudly around this city, state and country and share its story
-To my Noonday sisters, specifically my pal Cherese and her hostess whom I've never even met, they hosted a show and decided to forgo the goodies to donate towards our adoption.
-To high school buddies, college friends, co-workers, our beloved families and those who have been there for literally every step of the way 

THANK YOU ALL!!!!

 
This new season of the waiting presents a longing and a yearning for our daughters.  There are lots of forms to sign and hoops to jump through and we have begun nesting in a sense.  In these sleepless nights and long days we hope and pray that while we may not be with them to care for them that first and foremost they are His.  If I could hire anyone to babysit I think their heavenly papa will fill those shoes quite nicely ;).

This is not just a pretty print.  If you have been following our journey for quite some time you know we take our monthly adoption selfie in the kitchen with this calendar.  To our surprise several months back we discovered this beautiful print.  Our desire and hope is that this phrase remain true in our hearts.  We can't wait to hang this print in the girls' room as a constant reminder once they are home. 

 

The Call

Tuesday, October 13th 2015 I was going through what I thought was an average Tuesday.  Tuesdays I don't go into work until later so I was at the gym riding a bike.  I looked down and saw that our agency was calling.  They have only called once before, but when I see their name pop up on my phone my heart drops.  I frantically jumped off the bike to receive the call.  The social worker was calling and quickly followed with "I have some good news, we have a referral for your family.  (For those unfamiliar with international adoption this is when your family is matched with a child.  Oh. My. God.  The day that I had dreamed about for years was happening.  The guy in front of me on the elliptical scowled back at me (I guess I was being loud but I just became a mama for crying out loud man, give me a break!).  What followed next left me speechless...

"We have a referral for your family, it's a set of siblings, two girls ages one and three."  Y,all, I can't even handle this.  Let me back up a bit.  From the beginning we always discussed two and dreamed about how special siblings would be to journey through life together as best buddies.  We were approved for up to two children in our home study for siblings ages 0-3 however the likelihood of this situation was probably about one in a million.  Other than twins, sibling groups this young is a rarity so we always assumed a babe around one is what our referral would look like.  Luke has been saying for years now that two girls would be his dream.  God has, through His sovereignty, been up to something for 20 months that we can't even fathom although we know in our heart of hearts that these plans of His have been carved out since the beginning of time. 

 

"Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast heart, for his wondrous works to the children of men.  And let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving and tell of his deeds in songs of joy."  -Psalm 107:21-22

 



We have always said that no matter what we were doing when we received the joyous news we would meet up and open the email to see pictures and information about our child.  We both raced home and luckily I didn't have to leave a patient sitting in the dental chair mouth wide open but nothing was stopping this mama :).  We spent some time praying for the next few moments while their pictures were just a click away.  Seeing their precious smiling faces left us both crying tears of joy and at that moment we knew that those were our girls.  I can't stop staring, dreaming and thinking about those sweet hearts.

 

I have never had and felt so many emotions at once.  After gazing at them forever we began reading through their histories and what led them to the orphanage.  This led to tears of complete brokenness, sadness and such hurt and pain for our now babes.  They've experienced more pain and loss in their short lives than I have in my nearly 30 years.

 

We can NOT wait to bring them into our family and these last few days have been a whirlwind.  Sharing our news with friends and family of a day that not only us, but so many of our people have longed for and prayed for forever alongside of us, has been pure delight.  We've had so many tell us how lucky our girls will be to have us as mom and dad but we are the lucky ones.  God blew us away but giving us a referral but TWO?!  Oh what grace.

 

What's next

We received our referral on Tuesday and accepted it on Wednesday.  We now have quite bit of acceptance paperwork to fill out along with updating of our dossier. We have had several ask why the girls won't be coming home for several months but basically to sum it up there is a lot of paperwork and government approvals that need to be processed.  Investigations will occur and court hearings will commence. There are a lot of new processes that have been put in place to protect the orphan and ensure ethical adoptions. While it can be frustrating to continue to wait we have to respect the process. 

 

One area where we have been completely dependent on our Lord is fundraising.  He completely surpassed any doubts we ever had about how and if the funds would come.  We have had garage sales, sold shirts, collected donations and benefited from Noonday trunk shows.  It has been humbling and for lack of words promise-filled to see it all come to fruition through the blessings of His people.  We had raised nearly enough funds for our adoption and since the chances were near to none of a sibling group we obviously weren't going to raise funds for another child in the unlikely chance that we received more than one. While we don't have to pay double the costs for everything, we do have a good amount of additional money we need to raise and pay in the next 7 days. Once again we have put our trust in our Lord and know that he will provide. The short term costs we have to pay are such a small amount compared to the lifetime of joy we will experience with these two little babes.

 

Ways to help

• Youcaring

We have had an account set up on youcaring for several years now.  If you have a desire to donate you will find information on the link below:

Schwoch YouCaring Page

 

 

• T-shirts

We are on our second batch of our beloved "Loved" tees.  We have a few small shirts left and a good amount of medium-XXL, email Jen.schwoch@gmail.com if you would like to purchase one

 

• Pray

This one sounds so broad but our hope and desire is to continue to give praise and glory to a God who has done and will do far more than we could ever imagine. 

-pray in the next week of complete surrender in our fundraising that we put our faith fully in Him and trust a loving God and that he Has gone before us

-pray for our girls that they not only are physically well but that God reveal His great love and adoration to them and that He prepares them to become Schwochs

-pray that God would heal any emotional wounds that our girls may have

-pray for the precious orphanage workers that will be entrusted with caring for our children during the important and formative stages of their lives

-pray for some big decisions we have coming up with living and that we seek Him for clarity and wisdom.

-pray for our patience and strength to continue as we see God work in His perfect timing

-pray that God would see the creation of our family through with His steadfast love and that he would move mountains to unite our forever family

-pray for our adoption agency that they would continue to act ethically and act with the orphans' best interest in mind

-pray for the officials in U.S. and in Ethiopia who will handle our case and ask God to touch their hearts through God's love and purpose in adoption

 

It is such a delight to share our news.  If you would like to hear more about our adoption let us know. 

All our love.

-Jen & Luke Schwoch

Celebratory dinner, we are PARENTS!

 

 



 

 

 

A fresh season of waiting

Summer 2015 has been beyond good to us. God is so gracious. We spent time soaking up the sun with friends & family & even had the opportunity to travel some. We celebrated 5 years of marriage back in April & had a belated anniversary trip in June to the gorgeous Dominican Republic. It was such a treat after an extremely busy spring on Luke's behalf. This was so much more than a trip, but a time to reflect on our marriage, the highs & lows, the good & bad, the messy, all of it. Hoping that even once we are given the title parents, we carve out time to sneak away on the day we became a family to explore this big world and get some selfish time with each other to recount blessings, shortfalls and encourage one another.

One of the loudest praises that I know without a doubt I can speak to on both of our behalves is the way God has stretched us these past two years our on adoption journey to baby Schwoch. Sounds crazy but boy we are thankful He withholds things from us as children even when all we want is that referral. Have you ever had a time in your life when you wanted something so bad and it just wasn't working out to your perfect plan? Then looking back you can see clear as day that He was protecting & even blessing you by not fulfilling your desires & growing & teaching you more about Himself along the way? In the thick of it, reflecting back to where we first began is such a reminder of His presence and grace through it all. Throughout the scriptures both Old and New Testament we see Him fulfilling promises to His people. Our monthly wait list came towards the end of our trip & was such a gift in the midst of His stunning creation.



A majority of our people if not already having families, are beginning to start families. This is an exciting season most certainly, but feels ages away for us. Yes, we are aware that this is the path we chose, but it doesn't mean it isn't difficult at times. I had an "AHA" moment of pure gratefulness the other day. While by the time our family is complete some may consider us "old parents", our hearts are forever softened to care for the orphan however long that may take. We have been given such a sweet and unique opportunity that is rare for most. That is, to invest in the hearts and lives of so many of our family and friend's littles & I wouldn't change that for the world. Whether it is babysitting so the parents can go on date night or stopping everything for a play date or having the ability to get out of town to celebrate special birthdays it is something so precious to me.

 

 

 



I have mentioned before that Ethiopia experiences a rainy season in the late spring through fall typically from March through October with the summer months being the wettest. Ethiopia receives 90% of their rainfall during these 3 months so all that being said it rains a lot! While the rain is so needed for the crops and well-being in a country that experiences droughts it can put quite a damper on us waiters. Many things just close down completely from the amount of rain. Pray that our hearts don't grow weary or lose hope but that we can celebrate the rain with them and see the big and eternal picture in it all.

A song that we sing often at church keeps popping into my head lately and it has become such a heart song these lyrics...
"When my heart is overwhelmed and I can not hear Your voice, I hold onto what is true, though I can not see. When the storms in life they come, and the road ahead gets steep, I will lift these hands in faith, I will believe."
In the literal and figurative storms pray we all hold on to the truth we confess and know to be true. You are precious for even reading my thoughts. You are wonderful to intercede on our behalf, we feel your prayers. Until next time peeps.

-jen

And this...

 

Because summer we love you and you look cute on my babies but your heat is killin' us Texas folks

 

 

 

An Ode to Mamas

 

Mother's Day has always been special in my book. I've got a mama who is out-of-this-world and heck, if you know me at all you know any excuse to celebrate and gift her is right up my alley! Now I know there are a lot of you out there that think this is another one of Hallmark's money making holidays, but even so I applaud whomever you are that created it and see it a day to give praise to all those mamas out there for what they do.

This year particularly feels different though. Amongst the celebrating and Mother's Day memorabilia everywhere you look there is also hurt. I lost my Susu a few months back and my mom lost her mama. Oh how I miss her daily. For so many these "holidays" are a reminder of loss and pain.

As I have mentioned before, adoption was and is our plan A. We are actively taking birth control. Not to get too detailed, bear with me for a second. I don't say this in a prideful way or because we are trying to "save the orphans" but to prove my point and share my heart. You would be shocked at how many people literally ask us if we struggle with fertility issues. Some acquaintances and some people I met five minutes prior. Once I get over the initial shock I am quick to explain our "why" and our heart for the fatherless. We are confident He has gone before us and has made a path for our specific journey.  All this to say there are women out there desperate to be the one celebrated this Mother's Day and to earn the title of mom. My heart literally breaks for them as they not only grieve over their shattered plans but also over these types of questions they have to deal with. I literally have no idea what those struggles would be like, but I do know what it is like to yearn for a babe who is oceans away and feel helpless. In moments of despair He makes me strong.  “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 

2 Corinthians 12:9.10

Paul suffers from an unknown physical thorn and through his suffering comes humility.  It is truly in our despair in helplessness that His power becomes our strength.  In a quiet time recently I read a phrase that I can very much associate with:  unashamed dependence.  In the world we live in today that may be seen in a negative light.  My dependence on the King of the Universe I declare boldly.

I also am thinking and praying for moms in every corner of this earth making the decision not to be a mom anymore. What is Mother's Day like for her? I can imagine that to be a compilation of feelings of deep grief, mourning, relief for some and even for others a burden being lifted.



In what may seem like a depressing blog post I come to this:  we all have dreams, plans and desires and also live in a world of hurt. What if instead of assumptions, pride and judgement we came alongside one another and rallied for good? Hone into what others are dealing with and walking through. Celebrate victories and mourn with mourners. I am beyond thankful for my cheerleaders and tribe and pray you can find your team as well. Love to all you mamas, I commend you.  You all have constantly been our squad, spoken truth into our lives and been the hands and feet of Christ.  I am immensely grateful for your words today especially as the waiting mama on mother's day, had to share a few through tearful eyes... 

 

 

 



Update on us:

As of April we celebrated 5 years of marriage.  How crazy!  I had a dear friend ask me the other day if this is where I thought we would be 5 years deep.  To be frank, no, not at all.  However, I love our journey, all of it; the good, the bad, and the ugly because it is our journey alone. 

Every first of the month we receive an update. Some of you have blessed us more than you know by simply asking of our news each month when the first arrives. As I mentioned before it's the little victories we celebrate. Every month we send an update similar to this one with our current number. Please let us know if this is something you would like to receive.

A few weeks ago several of the families in our agency, West Sands, decided to dedicate Sunday night at 9:30 pm as a time for prayer.  People all over the world are praying for orphans and families in the process.  If your heart desires, please join us.  Some specifics to be praying for for our family and for the process of Ethiopia in general:

∞     Urgency from the government officials and all of those processing cases here and on the ground in ET

∞     Waiting families {that they are able to see His hand at work during their journey and they not wait aimlessly with each passing day but with purpose and renewed steadfastness and faith}

∞     Birth mothers and fathers {that they be comforted and have an overwhelming sense of peace with some weighty decisions at hand}

∞     Orphans {that they receive proper nurturing, nourishment and the care that they need until they can be matched into forever families}

 

Thanks for reading.  We love you deeply.

-Jen Schwoch

Spring has sprung

“He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.”  Psalm 112:7

If you want all pride completely stripped from you & instead a life of humility, pursuing adoption is a start.  No, I am definitely not telling you this is a reason to adopt, don’t do that, but am just speaking from the heart of someone fiercely desiring to care for the orphan. God is in the process of sanctifying His kiddos our entire lives and we are clearly seeing that through our difficulties and struggles of our adoption journey. In the ups and the downs of it all, we are able to see Him more clearly and place our trust and our plans in His hands.

I’m going to be real for a second.  Sometimes it is hard to be a woman in the world we live in, specifically at the season of life we are in, going through this journey that is our plan A, but looks far different than the norm.  I have come to notice that I am surrounded by mamas and their precious baby bumps as of late.  Just a few weeks back I was at a dinner where four of the eight of the women at the table were pregnant.  Naturally a majority of the conversations are all things pregnancy and baby.  Sometimes it is hard y’all.   People just don’t know what to ask of my beautiful mess, but when you do I am ecstatic.  I have a close friend due in August and have told her I want her to share with me as much as possible the details of her pregnancy.  Baby Schwoch could very well be in utero and although I won’t get to see 3D sonograms or hear baby’s heartbeat, pregnancy is absolutely fascinating and beautiful and I can only imagine.  I walk away from these types of gatherings hurting and yearning for my little half way across the world and pray for that sweet biological mama who has chosen life and has some weighty decisions ahead.  I love adoption, but must constantly remember at the root of it is complete loss and brokenness. 

Adoption journey as of late

I promised an update a few weeks back, but wanted to gather some more definitive answers before sharing.  Psalm 112:7 (see intro) is a verse among others that I have clung to in our utter despair and weakness.  We saw some great strides over these past few months on our wait list.  Then we started hearing some difficult news to process regarding Ethiopia in general.  One thing I have come to recognize is that in the highs and lows of this journey if you lean on your emotions and not the constants of faith you will surely lose it, trust me from experience.  A respected and well-known agency that we looked into that works in Ethiopia chose to close their Ethiopian program based on a regional government in Ethiopia not allowing referrals to be processed.  Several other agencies have highly encouraged families to switch programs (countries).  I would be lying if I said it didn’t worry me.  Our hearts and resources are beyond invested in this place and not to mention our agency primarily works in Ethiopia, which is one thing that drew us to them.  During this week or so of unknowns we were on our knees praying for answers, but also hopeful and trusting in a God that is for us.  Our agency has since let us know that they will most definitely be continuing adoptions in Ethiopia and have been working in several regions with a number of orphanages building promising relationships.  We are in it for the long haul and can assume it will be a wild ride. 

Can we ask you to pray for these families who were with that agency that decided to close their Ethiopian program as they process through this uncertain time?

Will you also pray for continued positive relationships on our agency’s end and for all those regional government officials making big decisions and that they specifically not be prideful but that their hearts be softened and that they see the apparent need?

Martha & Mary

“Now as they went on their way Jesus entered a village.  And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house.  And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching.  But Martha was distracted with much serving.  And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone?  Tell her then to help me.”  But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary.  Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken from her.”  Luke 10:38-42

If you know me at all you know I lean towards being a bit of a Martha by temperament. I busy myself. My phone has lists and lists of lists. I am type A personality and in some ways this does me well in life, it's engrained in me. I keep a clean house, a full planner and clean gunk off of people's teeth for goodness sake.

All this to say, there's a lesson to be learned in this scripture and it is one that I'm learning in our waiting. When you are waiting for a child, or for anything for that matter, there are only so many things you can do to prepare and only so many lists to check off. I joke around that by the time baby Schwoch is in our arms we will have a house full of stuff {cue nesting}. But I delight in Mary for her enthrallment and adoration of whom is in her presence. She is not too preoccupied or too busy perfecting the atmosphere, but is giving complete glory and attention to the only perfect thing in her life. I think that is what it means to wait well. To recognize the Lord's presence & spirit in the here and now as He continues to lead us on our journey.

We will be updating our home study this week. It is crazy to think it's been 1.5 years since the original. The sweet girl that was our original case worker is no longer with the agency so in a way it is like starting from scratch. Pray everything goes smoothly with what seems like more hoops as we also re-fingerprint and begin lots more paperwork.

As of March 1st it has been exactly one year since we received our original waitlist number.  We were in New York visiting my dear sister & her husband and opened the email as quickly as we could and then headed to FAO Schwarz to purchase a memento for the occasion.  Although we are unable to share such details on here, we can say these past few months we have been overjoyed to see children referred (placed) into forever families.  At the beginning of each month we anxiously wait until the end of the workday to read the monthly email update together and take a picture on our dry erase board of our new place in line.  Each number that we move is huge in the eyes of our creator who cares for and adores each and every orphan and makes it all possible.  We love you guys.

-Jen & Luke