This year particularly feels different though. Amongst the celebrating and Mother's Day memorabilia everywhere you look there is also hurt. I lost my Susu a few months back and my mom lost her mama. Oh how I miss her daily. For so many these "holidays" are a reminder of loss and pain.
As I have mentioned before, adoption was and is our plan A. We are actively taking birth control. Not to get too detailed, bear with me for a second. I don't say this in a prideful way or because we are trying to "save the orphans" but to prove my point and share my heart. You would be shocked at how many people literally ask us if we struggle with fertility issues. Some acquaintances and some people I met five minutes prior. Once I get over the initial shock I am quick to explain our "why" and our heart for the fatherless. We are confident He has gone before us and has made a path for our specific journey. All this to say there are women out there desperate to be the one celebrated this Mother's Day and to earn the title of mom. My heart literally breaks for them as they not only grieve over their shattered plans but also over these types of questions they have to deal with. I literally have no idea what those struggles would be like, but I do know what it is like to yearn for a babe who is oceans away and feel helpless. In moments of despair He makes me strong. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:9.10
Paul suffers from an unknown physical thorn and through his
suffering comes humility. It is truly in
our despair in helplessness that His power becomes our strength. In a quiet time recently I read a phrase that
I can very much associate with: unashamed
dependence. In the world we live in
today that may be seen in a negative light.
My dependence on the King of the Universe I declare boldly.
I also am thinking and praying for moms in every corner of this earth making the decision not to be a mom anymore. What is Mother's Day like for her? I can imagine that to be a compilation of feelings of deep grief, mourning, relief for some and even for others a burden being lifted.
In what may seem like a depressing blog post I come to this: we all have dreams, plans and desires and also live in a world of hurt. What if instead of assumptions, pride and judgement we came alongside one another and rallied for good? Hone into what others are dealing with and walking through. Celebrate victories and mourn with mourners. I am beyond thankful for my cheerleaders and tribe and pray you can find your team as well. Love to all you mamas, I commend you. You all have constantly been our squad, spoken truth into our lives and been the hands and feet of Christ. I am immensely grateful for your words today especially as the waiting mama on mother's day, had to share a few through tearful eyes...
Update on us:
As of April we celebrated 5 years of marriage. How crazy!
I had a dear friend ask me the other day if this is where I thought we
would be 5 years deep. To be frank, no,
not at all. However, I love our journey,
all of it; the good, the bad, and the ugly because it is our journey
alone.
Every first of the month we receive an update. Some of you have blessed us more
than you know by simply asking of our news each month when the first arrives.
As I mentioned before it's the little victories we celebrate. Every month we
send an update similar to this one with our current number. Please let us know
if this is something you would like to receive.
A few weeks ago several of the families in our agency, West Sands, decided to
dedicate Sunday night at 9:30 pm as a time for prayer. People all over the world are praying
for orphans and families in the process.
If your heart desires, please join us.
Some specifics to be praying for for our family and for the process of
Ethiopia in general:
∞ Urgency
from the government officials and all of those processing cases here and on the
ground in ET
∞ Waiting
families {that they are able to see His hand at work during their journey and
they not wait aimlessly with each passing day but with purpose and renewed
steadfastness and faith}
∞ Birth
mothers and fathers {that they be comforted and have an overwhelming sense of
peace with some weighty decisions at hand}
∞
Orphans {that they receive proper nurturing,
nourishment and the care that they need until they can be matched into forever
families}
Thanks for
reading. We love you deeply.
-Jen Schwoch
